Writing has always been a passion of mine, but lately I have felt disheartened. I had a few knock backs from people about my writing, complaining that I was not doing it right and I should change. This affected me more than I liked to admit, and I found myself making excuses. I know I have written a similar post previously, stating my excuses but honestly I’ve been stuck in an internal turmoil- wanting to write but then not feeling that I have a right to write. My best friend has inspired me and I owe her so much, she is such an amazing person and I love her to pieces.
My life has change a great deal since leaving University. I went back home and got a career in an office as a PA, which I was bullied out of after a few months. I was made to scan documents for 8 hours a day- mind numbingly tedious, the light started to fade from my eyes. The job description did not match what I was being made to do, so I would have left eventually but pride stopped me from quitting it. I can joke about it now, but I was in a pretty bad place at the time, especially when I was out of a job for two weeks- the time spent out of work felt like a life time and it made me feel worthless. It was an awful feeling and wouldn’t wish bullying in a work place on anyone, but sadly it happens all the time. I spent every day applying for any job, and eventually I got offered a job in a bar, which accepted. The people were great, I became more social outside of work and I started to feel myself again. So I thank all the people I met who made me feel my worth again.
I know this probably sounds like a ramble, but the point will become clear eventually, I promise.
I started blogging, one because I love writing and two because I wanted to help people. Most of my posts have a feel good element with a philosophical approach. The thought of someone reading my entries and it made them feel, even a little better, made me feel content. I have a great deal of passion for helping people and I do so where ever I can. I am the non judgemental ear, the one that cares and will help in any way that I can. The satisfaction I gain from someone saying ‘thank you, you’ve made me feel better’ is indescribable. I have the desire to help, and throughout my years at school I was told I would not be good enough to be a nurse so gave that up on that pretty quickly. However, when I was at my lowest I applied for an apprenticeship as a health care assistant in the city I loved most. I forgot about it pretty quickly after applying and getting accepted as a bar assistant as I did not for a second think I would have been considered. As they say, there is no rainbow without the rain and there is always a light at the end of the storm and I finally believe it. I passed all the online assessments and was asked to attend an assessment day where we were given two scenarios with patients and we were tested on how we responded and communicated with people. I am happy to say I got offered the position and now work on an ICU, which for those who do not know, means Intensive Care Unit. I am not going to lie, it is very hard emotionally but the gratification you receive knowing you are physically helping is overwhelming. I have learnt so much over the last 7 months and my eyes have been opened to the world. It has made me appreciate life so much more. I am now in the midst of applying for a Masters in Nursing, as I feel I have so much more to give. Fingers crossed I will get onto the course, and it will be a tough three years but it will definitely be a journey worth taking- I am excited and ready to take the next step.
All you need in life is for people to believe in you, and I am so grateful that I have met such a wonderful inspiring person, we met 4 years ago in the lift of our accommodation and we have been best friends ever since. She has help me grow, fixed me back up when I am broken and even put up with my stubbornness and I love her to pieces! You know who you are, and I know you’ll read this and think OMG this is so much cheese, but I mean it and thank you never giving up on me as well as pestering me to start writing again! Our little coffee outing today inspired me!
Life does not always go to plan, mine didn’t. I had a position on a masters in Journalism which I turned down after feeling deflated about my skills and now I am working in the NHS in a job that I love which I am very passionate about. Life throws you curve balls, not to spite you, but to show you that you can handle anything that comes your way.
Life is too Short* 